A VERY VIOLENT NATIVITY
CHORISTERS: [singing] Little donkey little donkey on the dusty road,
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load...
MARY: Who’re you calling a load?
JOSEPH: Oh dear, children. I don’t think you should imply that the crazy hormonal pregnant lady is heavy. Even if she is the mother of god, she will HURT you.
*Mary slaughters the choristers*
JOSEPH: See?
MARY: Fucking kids. *licks the blood off her fingers* ahh, I feel calmer now. Must’ve been iron-deficient.